Concerning my autistic son


Carson's prognosis? Only God knows. Will he ever be able to hold a job, go to college or have a family? Only God knows. Though he continues to progress and grow in most areas, in others he is not. But one thing is certain: the kid is HAPPY. 24/7 a room without a roof.

I'm proud of him and who he is. He is perfect and I wouldn't change a thing. That is a cliche, yet in my grieving moments it's what my heart is bursting with! It's like he walks through the world wearing 3D glasses only he can have, and because of this, small and seemingly meaningless actions become exciting and amazing -- so of course they must be repeated! 

I've decided to enjoy repeating the alphabet (for the past 2 years), or lines from his favorite show in a meaningless context, or sympathizing with the importance he places in running through the gaps in the bushes that line our driveway over and over, day in and day out. I know that he seeks certain sensory experiences because his receptors tell him that those experiences are awesome. So they became awesome to me. 

Most of my time in parenting him is spent trying to help him adapt to the world as a neurotypical child would; a.k.a., helping him snap out of it and cope with reality. I will never stop reinforcing the danger of running into the road or through parking lot. I will never stop introducing him to experiences or feelings he would normally avoid or fear. But the rest of the time I will cope with his reality and adapt to his world. 



Because I love him and he needs me to. Am I the only one here who sees a parallel with Jesus? That instead of demanding that we only enter his world, he entered ours and did the work for us. Because he is able and we are not. Then after he enters our world, he communicates to us how truly he understands it, and then gives us the ability to understand his world. And finally we will all see one day, in our glorified state, that it has always been only his world. 

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