Bethany's Blog

I'm going to be vulnerable because Ive kind of reached a point where I am letting go the pursuit of an amazing reputation. I'm not as spiritual as I thought I was. I'm not the great parent I thought I was. I'm dependent on Him and that's kind of all there is to it these days. Anyhoo I thought I was doing so well, but then when stressful circumstances combined with Jase screaming his new and improved screeching inconsolable cry of desperation happened on the same weekend, the angry Hulk inside of me appeared again. (nobody was or ever has been hurt, fyi) It is so hard to be so pathetic right now. Some people have no idea what it is like to have PPD but it is truly humbling. Be careful when you think you stand, lest you fall! The best part of all of this is that these days I want to read the Bible. I hunger for the truth about God. It's very refreshing. I haven't hungered for the Living Water like this for about 7 years. But with 2014 came spiritual r...

I've meant to write here as an update for some weeks now but I've been so busy! I'm doing so much better with PPD and I don't want friends who've read this to worry about me! First, Jase has begun to sleep through the night! This is better than Carson did, because I had to let him cry to do it. Jase has had to cry a little, but not like Carson.  Second, nursing and rocking Jase to sleep is very therapeutic for me. I didn't allow myself to enjoy that snuggling bond with Carson at bedtime. Although Carson isn't as snuggly as Jase is either!  Third, as Jase transitions to mostly table foods he is happier and doesnt require as much milk production as before. He also started rejecting the pacy at 8 months, and now baby food at 9 months. He's trying to take steps too! My kids could not be more opposite in temperament.  Other updates: David is sitting in his second to last seminary class as I type this! We are excited to see what God h...

I'm going to be a little vulnerable as I write this and as I "come out" as you may call it. I think most of my friends know what's going on with me, but I really feel like sharing about how my relationship with God through Christ works alongside such emotional, deep struggles and hormonal imbalances. People who have not been depressed before (as in, clinical depression confirmed by a medical professional as I have been) have a difficult time being understanding of a fellow Christian who is depressed. They see it only as a sin issue or a spiritual issue. Even though I was taught in my own shortened version of Intro to Biblical Counseling to address the whole person including their physical issues, many who claim to be in the Biblical Counseling camp seem to ignore this when it comes to depression. But in the case of PPD, the physical aspects are essential  to consider.  In other words, while as a person who has this disorder/struggle, I am both personally respo...