Bethany's Blog

Consider this the first in a series of blog posts about apostates and their teachings. What is an apostate? An apostate is someone who renounces a religious or political belief or principle. Specifically I will be blogging about Christian apostates and their teachings. I may also write about "big" or "small" apostasies: some people say they are no longer a Christian. Others say they are a Christian but don't believe in traditional, orthodox Christianity.  There are many Christian apostates in my generation (the Millenials). At least it appears that there are many, as they are very vocal in social networking. They are the ones about whom the Boomers are all up-in-arms. They are apparently leaving the Church in droves. Boomer parents feel like failures. They are torn up and hurt over it.  What about the other Millenials? The ones who are staying in Church. Who call themselves Christians, even evangelicals. Some of them have children of their own. Will ...

I've given my blogging a lot of thought and prayer and been through many phases of blogging in the past ten years. I think it's important for me to examine why I do this, because words can do a lot of harm or a lot of good. As I grow personally and spiritually, I learn more about myself and more about God. Or rather, he reveals more of himself to me by the Holy Spirit, who lives in me as he does any Christian....  I know I don't have anything over anyone who reads this. I have an undergrad Bible and music degree, so that can count for something maybe. But I'm still young. I know I have a lot to learn. And surely when I read more professional and polished blogs I am thoroughly impressed. So why do I blog? In short, because I feel that God has given me a passion and gift for writing and reading. I've always had a journal, just because I wanted to, since I was in 1st or 2nd grade. Not only do I have this desire to write, but I've always feared sharing some of w...

I was recently at a Christian talk for women where the speaker said, "If you don't know how you've sinned today, you need to get on your knees and ask God to show you your sin... We can't be right with God unless we confess our sin." Then she went on to her next point. As soon as these words came out of her mouth I was honestly upset. Her words were said with great emphasis and passion, as if it would solve life's problems. And honestly, I was actually upset because these words encapsulate the desperation and despair that used to strain my relationship with God. I've heard countless well-meaning preachers and teachers encourage healthy introspection. I had always taken this exhortation very seriously, even to the extreme — think "Martin-Luther-battling-it-out-with-Satan-in-a-cold-confession-booth" extreme. In college I reached a point of despair and serious questioning of God's existence because of it. There is a demonic subtlety to...

I absolutely love nursing/rocking Jase to sleep. But while I was pregnant with Carson (my oldest) I had resolved never to do that as a mom because of my devotion to a book, On Becoming Babywise. I say devotion in it's fullest sense; I had read the book at least three times, not counting re-reading applicable chapters. My copy was marked up. I made helpful charts of the material. I read blogs by Babywise moms religiously. I passionately recommended it to pregnant friends. But when the rubber met the road is when the book was truly put to the test. Babywise claims that nursing to sleep is bad for several reasons; most importantly that a child must learn to be independent of mom, especially when going to sleep, so that mom can sleep and be a better mom. Ezzo's intentions are good in saying this (caring for mom, which I wholly believe in) but I have since come to believe that this book is wrong.  Other claims made in Babywise  are that the child will learn to eat ...

I'm going to be vulnerable because Ive kind of reached a point where I am letting go the pursuit of an amazing reputation. I'm not as spiritual as I thought I was. I'm not the great parent I thought I was. I'm dependent on Him and that's kind of all there is to it these days. Anyhoo I thought I was doing so well, but then when stressful circumstances combined with Jase screaming his new and improved screeching inconsolable cry of desperation happened on the same weekend, the angry Hulk inside of me appeared again. (nobody was or ever has been hurt, fyi) It is so hard to be so pathetic right now. Some people have no idea what it is like to have PPD but it is truly humbling. Be careful when you think you stand, lest you fall! The best part of all of this is that these days I want to read the Bible. I hunger for the truth about God. It's very refreshing. I haven't hungered for the Living Water like this for about 7 years. But with 2014 came spiritual r...

I've meant to write here as an update for some weeks now but I've been so busy! I'm doing so much better with PPD and I don't want friends who've read this to worry about me! First, Jase has begun to sleep through the night! This is better than Carson did, because I had to let him cry to do it. Jase has had to cry a little, but not like Carson.  Second, nursing and rocking Jase to sleep is very therapeutic for me. I didn't allow myself to enjoy that snuggling bond with Carson at bedtime. Although Carson isn't as snuggly as Jase is either!  Third, as Jase transitions to mostly table foods he is happier and doesnt require as much milk production as before. He also started rejecting the pacy at 8 months, and now baby food at 9 months. He's trying to take steps too! My kids could not be more opposite in temperament.  Other updates: David is sitting in his second to last seminary class as I type this! We are excited to see what God h...

I'm going to be a little vulnerable as I write this and as I "come out" as you may call it. I think most of my friends know what's going on with me, but I really feel like sharing about how my relationship with God through Christ works alongside such emotional, deep struggles and hormonal imbalances. People who have not been depressed before (as in, clinical depression confirmed by a medical professional as I have been) have a difficult time being understanding of a fellow Christian who is depressed. They see it only as a sin issue or a spiritual issue. Even though I was taught in my own shortened version of Intro to Biblical Counseling to address the whole person including their physical issues, many who claim to be in the Biblical Counseling camp seem to ignore this when it comes to depression. But in the case of PPD, the physical aspects are essential  to consider.  In other words, while as a person who has this disorder/struggle, I am both personally respo...