"Overdue"

I wish I wouldn't have let our mixed-up obstetrical care system squeeze me into their mold from the beginning of this pregnancy. Some random German OB decides in the early 1800s that all pregnancies last 40 weeks, and today's OBs still go by that? And apparently all they need to do is spin a little wheel made of card stock paper and they know the exact day baby should come or when baby will be too late; when baby has to be "saved" by ironically unhelpful interventions of artificial hormones and medically unnecessary inductions.

First of all my cycles were always 32-40 days in length, since I was 12 when they started. When charting a few years ago, I never ever ovulated before day 18 of the cycle. Further, it varied with each cycle so much that I never knew when the next was coming. I don't even know for sure when my last cycle started before I got pregnant this time! 

Thus my due date for this pregnancy is WAY off! What's worse is that it's been pounded into my head since May so I can't help but be antsy when in truth I may not even be to 40 weeks yet! 

The ultrasounds all said a different date (and only the ones between 6-8 weeks are the most accurate). When I've only had a few days between appointments, or sometimes even a couple weeks or longer... with various providers as I sought support for this VBAC (first Dr Stephens, once Beth Bary, then Dr Wright, once Dr Grady, and now Beth Bary again...) and each dr/CNM has given different and inconsistent measurements of my cervical activity and measurements of my belly. If I were to believe all these measurements, then between a Thursday and a Monday my baby grew from measuring 39 weeks to measuring 41. 

Umm, no. 

The most frustrating thing to me in all this is that family visits and expectations have been centered around all this stupid guesswork. That my own emotional state at this time is influenced by it. 

Sorry that all my online resources are taken up with giving birth recently... I know many of you moms that I'm in touch with understand the frustrations in these things. I'm so tired of being stared at and commented to in person that writing online without being seen is strangely refreshing. Thanks for reading! 


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