Bethany's Blog

I've listened to the Sheologians podcast since their first episode. They were my "gateway drug" into a more serious study and love for Reformed theology. I've enjoyed their sarcasm, banter, quirkiness and YES! the giggling. But to be honest, I am not technically "historically Reformed" in some of my theological views and practices as many Sheologians fans are. I don't hold to the Regulative Principle of Worship. I am a long-time church musician who plays songs like Reckless Love on a regular basis. It is ironically because of these things that I feel able to respond to their content. Sheologians invites direct, edifying dialogue with people different from them. Summer and Joy are not the type of ladies to speak without thinking. So, I have a few things I'd like to say in response to their post criticizing the new Bethel Worship song, Reckless Love . I recommend reading the two links above before you read my thoughts. And please know my thou...

Today we closed on our third house in five years. It has been a crazy five years, and the reasons for moving mainly have to do with David's job! In all of it we've seen God's provision. We would like this house to be the last house we buy for many years to come. We moved to Hickory (which is David's home town) a week before Christmas 2016. We had to sell our house from a distance and take up his parents' offer of their basement and his old room. Most of our things were put in storage and we took the plunge to live in tight conditions. Judy and Glenn have been very tolerant and helpful this whole time! The most trouble we've had has been caused by the youngest member of the house, who will remain anonymous. Selling our house in GA was hard because it's unique. It had ten acres, an old barn, and some work that needed to be done. We had put $30k of work into it! This included foundation, new roof, new floors, painting, barn repairs. We could not sell it f...

Greetings from late night motherhood! I have Friends Season 2 streaming in the background, my husband is snoring and has to wake up in 4 hours to go to work, and my wet hair is tied up in a slightly mildewy microfiber towel. Our house just went on the market and my kids are both potty training. My husband and I are alternating work hours and childcare, working about 75 hours a week between us these days! So it's a perfect time to write a blog entry. Culturally, that is! I don't know about you but my heart is stirred almost daily by sad or touching stories, or shows like Parenthood re-runs and This Is Us. News about war on other continents or heroic stories of people with disabilities overcoming amazing odds. Raising a child on the autism spectrum and being hormonal from having two babies definitely softens my heart. I can barely shop at certain stores because I know they take advantage of horribly underpaid factory workers across the ocean. I'm amazed at how empath...

Backstory: almost a year ago it became apparent to us that Carson's continual social and language delays were more serious than we thought. When we found out about Aspergers and high functioning autism we saw some striking similarities in Carson to the description of symptoms. It was obvious to us that he is on the autism spectrum.  The same week in early March that this realization came crashing down on us, David also received a job offer in Atlanta, and we moved a month later April 11th, 2015. He graduated seminary long distance.  In June Carson underwent a series of evaluations by a specialist, a developmental pediatrician in north Atlanta named Dr. Sonia George. He tested most definitely on the autism spectrum. In every area except intellectual he tested more than a year behind his age at the time, 3 and a half. intellectually he was ahead of his age.  He took speech and occupational therapy every week from this point on. We bought a house and acreage and moved in at ...

Carson's prognosis? Only God knows. Will he ever be able to hold a job, go to college or have a family? Only God knows. Though he continues to progress and grow in most areas, in others he is not. But one thing is certain: the kid is HAPPY. 24/7 a room without a roof. I'm proud of him and who he is. He is perfect and I wouldn't change a thing. That is a cliche, yet in my grieving moments it's what my heart is bursting with! It's like he walks through the world wearing 3D glasses only he can have, and because of this, small and seemingly meaningless actions become exciting and amazing -- so of course they must be repeated!  I've decided to enjoy repeating the alphabet (for the past 2 years), or lines from his favorite show in a meaningless context, or sympathizing with the importance he places in running through the gaps in the bushes that line our driveway over and over, day in and day out. I know that he seeks certain sensory experiences because his receptors t...

I'm having to temporarily set aside the series on Christian apostasy or the mommy blogging or any other amateur attempts I had at blogging! I've had so much going on and more important happenings and much higher priorities than trying to change people's minds when I can't even see their faces. The faces of the three people that matter the most to me are the only faces I recognize now. They are the only faces that matter to me.  My dear husband's bearded face is minutes from snoring next to me in bed. He just finished his second week in management for Amazon Fulfillment here in Atlanta and he loves it! Finally. Finally not third shift. Finally not sixty hours a week. Finally he's not spending more time with coworkers than with his wife and children. Finally a chance to fulfill his dream of having a hobby farm.  My firstborn. He is the square peg we've been trying to pound into the round hole all his little life. He's on the...

So, I get that Christian blogging against 50 Shades of Grey this weekend can be seen in two lights: saving our culture from corruption, or on the flipside, getting entangled in a peripheral issue that distracts from the Gospel of Jesus Christ. No one is going to be saved or damned by merely watching a BDSM porn movie. I get that. And that's not what Christians are trying to say anyway. But what I think many people forget is that we are all slaves. Sin is not a popular word and I think it's definition has slipped through the cracks. Sin is anything a person thinks, says, or does that breaks the God's law. "Thou shalt not commit adultery" - looks at a person to think about sex - bam, law broken. "Thou shalt not kill" - gets super angry at someone and hates them - bam, law broken. We all break God's law; if not in our actions, at least in our thoughts. It is a sickness that lives in all of our hearts, despite our efforts to eradicate it. Sin has a...

As I mentioned in my first post  in this series, some Millennials who have left Church or God or both have taken great pains to advertise their apostasy online. Many claim that Church is their biggest reason for leaving Church, the worst offender being conservative evangelicalism. Here's what they have against Church: They are not diverse enough. They are culturally irrelevant. They have no respect for the arts. They allow for abuse to go unchecked. Their music is outdated. They prooftext and distort the Bible. They worship the Bible over God. They have failed the LGBT community. They are anti-woman and sexist. They make an idol of family. They alienate singles, single parents, blended families, divorced people. They are all Republican. Nobody is authentic about their sins. They judge and compare each other. They focus too much on sin. They are only about keeping up appearances. They turn dogmas into doctrine. They are hypocrites. They spank their kids too mu...

Consider this the first in a series of blog posts about apostates and their teachings. What is an apostate? An apostate is someone who renounces a religious or political belief or principle. Specifically I will be blogging about Christian apostates and their teachings. I may also write about "big" or "small" apostasies: some people say they are no longer a Christian. Others say they are a Christian but don't believe in traditional, orthodox Christianity.  There are many Christian apostates in my generation (the Millenials). At least it appears that there are many, as they are very vocal in social networking. They are the ones about whom the Boomers are all up-in-arms. They are apparently leaving the Church in droves. Boomer parents feel like failures. They are torn up and hurt over it.  What about the other Millenials? The ones who are staying in Church. Who call themselves Christians, even evangelicals. Some of them have children of their own. Will ...

I've given my blogging a lot of thought and prayer and been through many phases of blogging in the past ten years. I think it's important for me to examine why I do this, because words can do a lot of harm or a lot of good. As I grow personally and spiritually, I learn more about myself and more about God. Or rather, he reveals more of himself to me by the Holy Spirit, who lives in me as he does any Christian....  I know I don't have anything over anyone who reads this. I have an undergrad Bible and music degree, so that can count for something maybe. But I'm still young. I know I have a lot to learn. And surely when I read more professional and polished blogs I am thoroughly impressed. So why do I blog? In short, because I feel that God has given me a passion and gift for writing and reading. I've always had a journal, just because I wanted to, since I was in 1st or 2nd grade. Not only do I have this desire to write, but I've always feared sharing some of w...

I was recently at a Christian talk for women where the speaker said, "If you don't know how you've sinned today, you need to get on your knees and ask God to show you your sin... We can't be right with God unless we confess our sin." Then she went on to her next point. As soon as these words came out of her mouth I was honestly upset. Her words were said with great emphasis and passion, as if it would solve life's problems. And honestly, I was actually upset because these words encapsulate the desperation and despair that used to strain my relationship with God. I've heard countless well-meaning preachers and teachers encourage healthy introspection. I had always taken this exhortation very seriously, even to the extreme — think "Martin-Luther-battling-it-out-with-Satan-in-a-cold-confession-booth" extreme. In college I reached a point of despair and serious questioning of God's existence because of it. There is a demonic subtlety to...

I absolutely love nursing/rocking Jase to sleep. But while I was pregnant with Carson (my oldest) I had resolved never to do that as a mom because of my devotion to a book, On Becoming Babywise. I say devotion in it's fullest sense; I had read the book at least three times, not counting re-reading applicable chapters. My copy was marked up. I made helpful charts of the material. I read blogs by Babywise moms religiously. I passionately recommended it to pregnant friends. But when the rubber met the road is when the book was truly put to the test. Babywise claims that nursing to sleep is bad for several reasons; most importantly that a child must learn to be independent of mom, especially when going to sleep, so that mom can sleep and be a better mom. Ezzo's intentions are good in saying this (caring for mom, which I wholly believe in) but I have since come to believe that this book is wrong.  Other claims made in Babywise  are that the child will learn to eat ...

I'm going to be vulnerable because Ive kind of reached a point where I am letting go the pursuit of an amazing reputation. I'm not as spiritual as I thought I was. I'm not the great parent I thought I was. I'm dependent on Him and that's kind of all there is to it these days. Anyhoo I thought I was doing so well, but then when stressful circumstances combined with Jase screaming his new and improved screeching inconsolable cry of desperation happened on the same weekend, the angry Hulk inside of me appeared again. (nobody was or ever has been hurt, fyi) It is so hard to be so pathetic right now. Some people have no idea what it is like to have PPD but it is truly humbling. Be careful when you think you stand, lest you fall! The best part of all of this is that these days I want to read the Bible. I hunger for the truth about God. It's very refreshing. I haven't hungered for the Living Water like this for about 7 years. But with 2014 came spiritual r...

I've meant to write here as an update for some weeks now but I've been so busy! I'm doing so much better with PPD and I don't want friends who've read this to worry about me! First, Jase has begun to sleep through the night! This is better than Carson did, because I had to let him cry to do it. Jase has had to cry a little, but not like Carson.  Second, nursing and rocking Jase to sleep is very therapeutic for me. I didn't allow myself to enjoy that snuggling bond with Carson at bedtime. Although Carson isn't as snuggly as Jase is either!  Third, as Jase transitions to mostly table foods he is happier and doesnt require as much milk production as before. He also started rejecting the pacy at 8 months, and now baby food at 9 months. He's trying to take steps too! My kids could not be more opposite in temperament.  Other updates: David is sitting in his second to last seminary class as I type this! We are excited to see what God h...

I'm going to be a little vulnerable as I write this and as I "come out" as you may call it. I think most of my friends know what's going on with me, but I really feel like sharing about how my relationship with God through Christ works alongside such emotional, deep struggles and hormonal imbalances. People who have not been depressed before (as in, clinical depression confirmed by a medical professional as I have been) have a difficult time being understanding of a fellow Christian who is depressed. They see it only as a sin issue or a spiritual issue. Even though I was taught in my own shortened version of Intro to Biblical Counseling to address the whole person including their physical issues, many who claim to be in the Biblical Counseling camp seem to ignore this when it comes to depression. But in the case of PPD, the physical aspects are essential  to consider.  In other words, while as a person who has this disorder/struggle, I am both personally respo...